Positive Vibes Only | Creating & Maintaining
I think we all go through a stage in our lives where we are in the process of getting our lives together, when life feels like it is not the worst but it could always be better. Sometimes we feel stuck and uninspired, or unhappy with where we are at currently, whether it is physical, financial, mental, or spiritual. Some of us feel that the right time to change that is next year, but the truth is you don't need a new year to change. Change is now.
The most difficult part in the change and growth process is creating and maintaining a positive attitude. Sometimes it can feel as if you're not doing enough, yet you are so busy that you feel like there aren't enough hours in a day. And sometimes we are not happy with where we are currently at. It's okay to be uncomfortable. That uncomfortability will push you in the right direction, to close one door and realize others will open -- but open when we take the initiative to open those doors.
This year I learned a few lessons ...
Lesson #1 -- "Money does not equate to happiness". Working at a job where you are unhappy just because it pays your bills, only helps you financially. Although you are taking care of yourself financially, what are you doing to take care of yourself mentally and emotionally? Know that where you are right now, is temporary, it is a stepping stone, and you'll move on and move forward.
Lesson #2 -- Make yourself top priority. Self care and self love are extremely important in achieving personal growth and happiness. Learn to walk away from situations and people who are no good for you. I cannot stress this enough. This was another big lesson this year. I learned to walk away from situations that were only causing me stress. It is never easy, but you will feel as if a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders once you have cut ties with negative people and situations. Doing this is always easier said than done, but the key is finding that will power to put yourself first. Evaluate the situation you are in, ask yourself -- Is this healthy? Am I happy? Does this person respect my feelings? What would my advice be if a friend/family member was going through this? (and take that advice). We need to stop compromising our own feelings for the satisfaction of others.
Lesson #3 -- "Accept, forgive, progress" Accept situations for what they are, whether it is a job, a relationship, friendship, etc. know that everything happens for a reason, even if you are not sure why. It is okay, you will not always have the answers. Forgive yourself, your boss, your friend, your family member, your significant other, your ex, or that person you were dating. The best thing about forgiveness is that it is for you. It's your way of acknowledging that hurt or anger and letting it go. Make peace with yourself, to keep peace within yourself. Accept it, forgive, and then move forward -- progress with your life and achieve the goals you have set for yourself.
Lesson #4 -- Stop focusing on the negative. This has been hard for me, I have to admit. Although I know things will get better. I find it hard to acknowledge the good things in my life more than the negative. I remember watching a TED Talk on YouTube (I'll link it below) on how to keep a positive mindset, and UC Davis mentioned talking about the positive things that happened in your day instead of the negative. It's much better to recall the highlights of your day rather than the negative. The next time you talk to someone about how you day went, try to focus on only the positive and then see how you feel afterwards.
Tips on keeping & maintaining a positive mindset:
- Focus on the good in your life currently, even if it is the small things.
- Set goals. Making a check list of goals is a great way to propel yourself forward. Completing one goal leads to the completion of the next and so on.
- Know that it is going to get better. There is a calm after the storm.
- Create a schedule. If you feel like you are running out of time on a regular basis create a schedule for yourself, make time to complete tasks and make time to relax, regroup, and rebalance.
- Find something that makes you happy and pursue it. How can you be happy if you're doing something that stresses you out consistently?
- Cut off negative people. Pessimists are your worst enemy, do not let anyone bring you down when you are building up. Very often these people could be the ones closest to you, family or friends who do not want the best for you, or they lack own self-motivation and then project that onto those around them.
- Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your day, focus on the things that made you smile.
- Find new ways to relax -- boxing, dancing, reading, meditation, etc. -- everybody has their own vices, but a great way to maintain a positive attitude is reading about it.
“I just know when I make it through this storm I will be better, I will be stronger.”