Best Friend Breakups and No Makeups
So I'm here to keep it real with you all at all times! This is not shade or a rant but I just want to talk about dead end friendships that you didn't even see coming.
I feel that as you grow older you either become closer with your friends or you lose them along the way. I've experienced both though, growing closer with my friends and becoming distant with other friends. Sometimes the way it happens is because you grow apart, or having a falling out on something petty or significant. But what happens is that we give on friendships too easily sometimes; over failure to communicate, failure to understand, failure to mature, and failure to be considerate. Most importantly failure to forgive. Maybe I'm guilty of a few of these, failure to forgive and failure to communicate. Do we feel better just to let someone go after an issue? And what is it that makes us forgive and repair the friendship and what makes it so difficult to forgive and so easy to let your friend go.
I have had many situations in the past 3 years and the most recent made me realize that I've lost a few friends to petty situations. But I was fed up. My old best friend for example, stopped speaking to me in October and I still to this day cannot figure out why. It has become a situation I will never truly understand. The crazy part is that she did not even say why she was mad and why she stopped speaking to me. As stated in my previous post, I went through a break up in October and best friend (at the time) was no where to be found in the after math. Our last conversation just did not seem like it was enough to end an 8 year friendship. Keeping it real, I felt we were growing apart but we still spoke often, we still saw each other from time to time. But to this day she is no where to be found, as far as the friendship goes. I didn't think anything was truly wrong until I invited her out for my birthday the following month and she did not reply. By that time I had been so aggravated and confused that I just let it go. I never bothered to attempt to save the friendship because I was going through so much, in my mind I was over anyone who acted as if they did not want to be in my life. I feel that where we are in our own personal lives and space impacts our decision making when it comes to any type relationship. Often times we are not level-headed and we make irrational decisions. I think about it now and I wonder if I was acting irrationally. I wasn't and I'll tell you why. When people cannot be mature and address situations and what is bothering them it makes it difficult to be understanding or forgiving. Maybe I lack patience for people to become adults and sort the issue. Looking back on old friendships I noticed the pattern, that I will end a friendship if I feel that person is not being a good friend and/or if they a negative person.
It's okay to end friendships, it's okay to not try if its over. Sometimes you have to cut people off in order to grow, in order to learn what to tolerate and what no to. I learned that not all people are meant to stay in your life forever, and there are people that unexpectedly take that journey with you to the end. Best friend and friendship break ups are natural, but if you're planning to go in and repair it, keep in mind their energy and if they are beneficial or detrimental.
I feel that as you grow older you either become closer with your friends or you lose them along the way. I've experienced both though, growing closer with my friends and becoming distant with other friends. Sometimes the way it happens is because you grow apart, or having a falling out on something petty or significant. But what happens is that we give on friendships too easily sometimes; over failure to communicate, failure to understand, failure to mature, and failure to be considerate. Most importantly failure to forgive. Maybe I'm guilty of a few of these, failure to forgive and failure to communicate. Do we feel better just to let someone go after an issue? And what is it that makes us forgive and repair the friendship and what makes it so difficult to forgive and so easy to let your friend go.
I have had many situations in the past 3 years and the most recent made me realize that I've lost a few friends to petty situations. But I was fed up. My old best friend for example, stopped speaking to me in October and I still to this day cannot figure out why. It has become a situation I will never truly understand. The crazy part is that she did not even say why she was mad and why she stopped speaking to me. As stated in my previous post, I went through a break up in October and best friend (at the time) was no where to be found in the after math. Our last conversation just did not seem like it was enough to end an 8 year friendship. Keeping it real, I felt we were growing apart but we still spoke often, we still saw each other from time to time. But to this day she is no where to be found, as far as the friendship goes. I didn't think anything was truly wrong until I invited her out for my birthday the following month and she did not reply. By that time I had been so aggravated and confused that I just let it go. I never bothered to attempt to save the friendship because I was going through so much, in my mind I was over anyone who acted as if they did not want to be in my life. I feel that where we are in our own personal lives and space impacts our decision making when it comes to any type relationship. Often times we are not level-headed and we make irrational decisions. I think about it now and I wonder if I was acting irrationally. I wasn't and I'll tell you why. When people cannot be mature and address situations and what is bothering them it makes it difficult to be understanding or forgiving. Maybe I lack patience for people to become adults and sort the issue. Looking back on old friendships I noticed the pattern, that I will end a friendship if I feel that person is not being a good friend and/or if they a negative person.
It's okay to end friendships, it's okay to not try if its over. Sometimes you have to cut people off in order to grow, in order to learn what to tolerate and what no to. I learned that not all people are meant to stay in your life forever, and there are people that unexpectedly take that journey with you to the end. Best friend and friendship break ups are natural, but if you're planning to go in and repair it, keep in mind their energy and if they are beneficial or detrimental.