Boys to Men : Respect is Love
“Stop acting like boys and be men”. - LAURYN HILL
Ladies, I am sure that we have encountered or witnessed at least one disrespectful male. Perhaps we have come across him in the street, trying to get your number or Instagram and could not take “no” for an answer. In some cases, actually dated a male who was disrespectful, or befriended a male who has acted as such. In no way, shape, or form should anyone ever tolerate disrespect from anyone. Gentlemen, if you are reading this too, you should not tolerate disrespect either. With that being said, it is best to leave those beings in the past. You see, respect and love go hand in hand. If there is a lack of respect, then how can that person love you? They don’t. They may care for you, but LOVE?! No. They love the power they have over you, they love that when they come crawling back (because honey they will) you let them back in. Most of all, they love that you love them, and you are always willing to forgive and move forward with them. I am not saying do not forgive, because that is for your own well being and peace of mind, but if you want them back, and they are crawling back, they must earn it.
However, disrespect is not one something to take lightly, whether it is cheating, cursing, tone of voice, physical contact, slander, lack of concern or attention. It may not always be consistent but it is a recurring cycle, that happens over and over again. In my personal opinion, all of these actions are what lead to ugly breakups or stressful relationships. If you are unfamiliar with this then, I will briefly break it down. It is simply, continous arguing, mainly unnecessary. When Jane breaks up with John (or vice versa) he becomes infuriated because Jane is leaving him. John feels that Jane should stay with him regardless (which is a lot of you males) of his actions, his cursing, blatant disregard for her feelings, etc. Jane has taken John back before but has become tired of his unwillingness to change his ways. Sidenote: You cannot change anybody, it is each individual’s decision to change themselves. What I have noticed in my few years of dating is that guys want what they want when they feel it is convenient for them. I am not sure if it is a “guy thing” or I have been dating the wrong guys. Anyway if a MAN wants to be with you, he will do all that he can to be with you, and only you. “I am too busy” will not exist, of course understand that we all do get busy and caught up with work, school, internships, and sports. However, he or she will make time for you if you are truly important to them. There is no settling for a text, and making it easy for someone to be with you. Make them earn your trust, and remember respect is a two way street, it must be given to be received.
One thing I have learned over this year, was that you do not owe anybody anything, if they do not deserve it. Ladies you do not owe his a second chance if he has disrespected you, he is not a man. Gentlemen, the same goes for you. Males recognize your wrongs and take responsibility, work on bettering yourselves and grow up to be the man you would want your daughter or sister to date/marry. I do not believe that males who are disrespectful to women and the people around them are all bad people, they have the capability to better themselves, to grow up, granted they get out of their own way.
Moreover, respect and love yourselves and you shall attract that exactly.