On Dealing with the Things We Don't Discuss
It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. I’ve been so caught up with life, and life gets rough sometimes. So rough that you don’t feel like it — like you just want to go to sleep and forget about all of your problems. Well that’s not how life works. It’s either face it or let it fester, but it ain’t going anywhere. I haven’t written anything because I’ve been afraid to face certain things I have been dealing with. I was afraid I’d be judged, I was afraid that if I said them out loud or put them out into the world then they’d be real. This post is a little heavier than the rest but here is my truth, because there are other people going through the same, and maybe it’ll give you some comfort knowing you aren’t alone.
on anxiety.
For some reason people think anxiety is a joke, and it isn’t. It’s a real thing, a real feeling that has become all too familiar and more than often faced alone. It feels like knots in your stomach and an intense feeling uncertainty, all of which you can’t control. I think I’ve only met one or two people who have been able to relate, and maybe that’s because it isn’t discussed often enough, and when things aren’t discussed then solutions rarely come to surface. How do I cope with anxiety? roll up and write. But over time I took the time to analyze what triggers my anxiety, and how do I calm myself down when I feel out of control. That’s the thing though, sometimes we stick around what triggers our anxiety, whether it is a friendship, relationship, family, or job. Life is about learning what you like and dislike, what you need and don’t and most importantly when and how to let go of what isn’t good for you. I’m not sure if anxiety is something you can get rid of, or how to overcome it. I’m not a doctor or a professional, I am someone working through it.
on depression.
Experiencing even the slightest form of depression has been a wake up call. It’s more than just feeling sad, it feels like you’re not yourself and not sure how to get back. It feels like tolerating things you’d never allow, and losing yourself within that. It feels like settling and sinking. And a lot of the time you’ll ask yourself “how did I get here?” but more importantly ask yourself “how do I get out of this space?” I think we become embarrassed when situations put us in spaces where we deal with depression or anxiety, because its not seen as normal. Anger and sadness are normal but anything further is deemed “unnatural” or “extra”. It’s only seen as unnatural because it’s a topic our generation doesn’t address often enough. We need to open up the floor to more discussions on how to take our power back. I think the first step is identifying what is causing this feeling. It isn’t as simple as it sounds, sometimes its super obvious and sometimes it may require a little work. But life is about working on ourselves.
on self awareness.
People have been so caught up in being selfish, that they fail to become or maintain being self aware. The idea of being selfish has taken on some new meaning as taking care of yourself first, and to some extent there is nothing wrong with that. But people take being selfish to a whole new level of being self-centered and then completely disregard others. Being self-aware means you keep in mind your own needs and wants and treating them with the same level of importance as you do others. To be self-aware does not mean you are less important, it means you give equal consideration to others especially those close to you. People made it seem okay to be selfish, because people feel that if they look out only for themselves and their own feelings then they’ll have less to worry about. There aren’t enough conversations about self awareness, there aren’t enough people practicing it, and that’s probably why we go through the things we do — because of selfishness, friendships end, relationships don’t last, and people rarely learn. Imagine if we were more self-aware, and we valued regarded others as much as ourselves. Give the energy you want to receive.
Surround yourself with people you can have these conversations with, with people who understand you or at least try to, with people who don’t trigger your anxiety or depression, and people who are ready to give and receive love. You are not alone in what you are going through. You are enough.
Your friend in love & light,
cg.